One Step Forward
by writingmom
Summary: Harm and Mac post-Australia, find their way in life and in love, with the usual bumps along the way.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Long time no post! This has been in my head for quite some time, so we'll see where it leads. I take complete liberties with time frame and admit fogginess of details, but the essence of the two I feel is the same. So, for story's sake, this is after Australia but without the disastrous engagement and Mac's involvment with Mic. _

"Harriet, we've already been through this," Mac said over her shoulder as the two headed in to her office.

"Maam, if I may…" Harriet closed the door behind her and stood determined in front of Mac's desk. It was difficult to maintain professionalism between the friends at times, but Harriet knew that this was no time to step out of line.

"…it's not going to be—"

Mac interrupted. "Harriet, the answer is no. Ok?" Mac quickly grabbed a file from the top drawer of her desk and walked past Harriet toward the door. She was due in court, a convenient excuse to escape the conversation.

"But maam, if you would just allow me to—"

Harm emerged from his office just in time to see Mac turn to Harriet and say, "I'm flattered. Really, I am in some small, insignificant way. But the answer is no. Ok? A thousand times no." She smiled so as not to seem too harsh, then made her way to the elevator.

Harm was amused. "The Colonel's not being stubborn, is she?" His smirk could not be hidden.

Harriet sighed. "Not so much stubborn, Sir as resolute."

"Ha, well, if that's what you want to call it. I don't know what the issue is, but I'm about to face off with one 'resolute' Colonel in the courtroom. Anything I can do to help?"

Harriet shook her head. "No, Sir. Not unless you can convince Mac that a little skin—" Harriet realized that involving Harm in the discussion would definitely not help her cause.

Harm raised an eyebrow in intrigue.

"Never mind, Sir. Good luck in court." Harriet walked away and Harm could not help but be intrigued.

Two hours later

"Court is dismissed." The judge banged the gavel loudly in a way that seemed to signal not only the end of the case, but the end of a very long week. Mac certainly welcomed the notice.

Harm approached her from across the aisle and heard an audible sigh. "I guess congratulations are in order." He hated losing to her in court, but even in their jest, he respected her as a worthy opponent and couldn't sulk for long.

Mac smiled, although it was not convincing. "Thank you, Counselor. Coming from you, that means a lot."

Harm opened his mouth to speak, but Mac continued before he had a chance. "Then again, it seems like you said the same thing to me just last week! Good thing we're not keeping track, Flyboy. I'd say you're definitely in the red."

She closed the zipper on her briefcase and turned to face him. He looked a little tired as well, although he hid it well and any form of a smile coming from this man could lift her spirits like nothing else.

It had been pleasant between them of late, even comfortable. Mic had turned out to be an annoying blip on the radar, but thankfully one that didn't cause too much interference. Since their return from Australia, Harm had been thinking and re-thinking his words that night on the ferry, and wondering how Mac had interpreted them.

She certainly came across as cool, calm and collected, although flirtation with Brumby seemed at times too sincere for Harm's liking. In fact, he wanted to explore the conversation further, but was never sure when to bring it up. Mac could bristle easily and he certainly didn't want to push her away.

"Aha, is that so? Well, normally I would demand a recount, but I, unlike some people, am gracious in defeat. In fact, I'm downright chivalrous."

The two made their way down the aisle and to the two large brown doors where they stopped to continue the debate.

"Chivalrous? Harm, I think you're confusing your terms. "Gracious, sometimes, yes. I'll give you that. Chivalrous, on the other hand…that's a completely different discussion."

He opened the door and waited for her to exit. "I beg to differ." In truth he was weary and had not a clue where this conversation was headed, but he stayed the course true to form.

Mac rolled her eyes. "Harm, you hold the door for every one. Even Bud."

"So you're saying that I'm not chivalrous?"

Mac was tired and not in the mood to banter, at least not without her usual level of zest. They made their way into the now quiet bullpen as she went in to her office and plopped the briefcase down on the chair before gathering her belongings.

"What I'm saying is that chivalrous you may be, but some people, including me, think of chivalry more in the sense of a dating relationship. Or in a marriage. You know, like couples."

She gave him a slight grin as she tugged at the small gold chain to turn off the desk lamp. Harm moved from his place in the door way as she locked up behind. He wasn't ready for the conversation to end. At least, he wasn't ready for his time with Mac to end and whatever rabbit trail he was on now was his only hope of prolonging their time.

"Ok, Mac. So what if I think that chivalry can indeed be displayed in any form, at any time, to any one."

"That's great, Harm. Knock yourself out."

She began to walk away and before he knew it, he blurted out, "Hey, do you have plans for dinner? I thought maybe we could you know, grab something or order in."

The truth of the matter was that almost every Friday of late had been spent together. Neither questioned or analyzed, at least not out loud, and secretly wondered if the other would be first to break the momentum.

Mac smiled to herself.

"That sounds nice. What do you say, oh chivalrous one, that we get carry out and a movie. My place?"

He could not wipe the grin off of his face. He loved this woman. He may not know how to articulate it or even acknowledge it to himself, but the warmth that came over him when she was near was something he'd never experienced.

"Sounds good. I'll grab a change of clothes and be right over. Kung Pao or pepperoni?"

"Surprise me. I'll pick the movie."

They stopped at the elevator and he quickly leaned forward to press the appropriate button, then bowed in a mock gesture allowing her to step in first. Mac laughed, then pressed the button once inside.

"Not with that again…"

"I'm just saying, Mac, that _some _people fail to recognize the array of kind gestures that I choose to display on pretty much a daily basis. In victory, in defeat…"

"In shameless self-promotion…" She couldn't help but cut him off.

"Mac. You wound me!" He smiled and opened the door as they exited the building.

She unlocked her car but before she sat down, she turned with a large grin and before she knew what was coming out of her mouth said, "You know Harm, some say actions speak louder than words and talk is cheap. But with you? I think it's the opposite."

She hadn't intended to make a reference to the ferry, but that's exactly how Harm perceived it. A look of realization spread across her face. She tried to play it off as just another coy comment made in jest, but they both knew what she meant.

She gave a playful wink, closed the door of her car and drove away to see Harm in her rearview mirror, where she had left him, standing completely still.


	2. Chapter 2

Mac took a deep breath before answering the door. Now in the comfort of her own home—and her favorite gray sweats—she hoped the nervousness from her earlier comment would subside. Things had been going great with Harm. She was surprisingly less cynical, and he was pleasantly consistent. Whatever the cause for their current progress, she hated to think that her comment might somehow cause a rift.

She opened the door and smiled as she stepped to the side and welcomed Harm in. "Ah, so you went with Kung Pao." She took the brown bag from Harm and went in to the kitchen to grab some plates.

"I hope that's all right." He removed his coat and placed it on the back of the chair before helping her in the kitchen.

"More than all right. It smells amazing."

He couldn't help but smile as he watched her shuffle about in the kitchen. She was wearing them again and something about her seemed so endearing. He couldn't help but laugh.

Sensing the amusement, she set the bottles of water down and leaned against the counter, arms folded across her chest.

"What?" She implored.

He looked down at her feet. "Those, Mac. Those are quite the uh…"

She raised her toes from inside the slippers that covered her feet and that were apparently, the night's entertainment.

"What's wrong with my slippers, Harm? They're comfortable and they're warm!"

"Yeah, no. They're fine. It's just, I don't know. Something about a Marine wearing house slippers. Seems ironic."

She stabbed a piece of chicken and held it pointedly at the end of the fork. "Well, they are leopard print. It could be worse. They could be something wussy like bunnies or something." She snatched the piece of chicken from the end of the fork and motioned for him to follow her into the living room with the plates.

The fire was lit and they took their usual positions on the floor in front, backs leaned against the couch. Harm took a big gulp of water and began to twirl the noodles around his fork.

"So what movie did you choose? Not that either of us can stay awake."

"I know. Long week, huh? The Admiral was in rare form."

"You're telling me. I thought he was going to pop a vein when we were reviewing the Marston case."

"I thought the same thing. It was taking on a life of its own. I was having a hard time not looking at it, all blue and pulsing." She took a drink of water and set the bottle down.

"Something seems off with him, don't you think?"

"I guess I can see that now that you mention it. I think there may be trouble on the home front, not that any of us know what that looks like for him."

"Well," Harm almost snorted, "if there's a woman in his life and she's unhappy?" His eyes grew large. "_Watch out_."

Mac finished chewing in order to explore the conversation further.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Harm took extra time with the feisty noodle on his fork, realizing that once again he may have started a fight.

He swallowed before continuing. "Well you know, Mac. If the woman is unhappy in a relationship, it can cause a lot of…stress."

She arched an eyebrow, always curious to hear Harm's observations on relationships.

"Is that right." It was not a question. She silently urged him to continue.

"It's just that, well, the dynamic between men and women is such that, as the pleaser, the man is usually—"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop right there, Flyboy." Mac now set her plate to the side and turned to face him fully, her left arm propped on the couch for support. "You're not assuming that the man is always the 'pleaser' in a relationship, are you?"

For a brief second, Harm looked like a boy in trouble at school. "Well. I think that…" he had to gather his thoughts. This conversation was a potential mine field, and Mac was not someone that could just be given a line of bull without second thought as he had been able to do with women in the past.

He cleared his throat and also set his plate off to the side and turned to face her fully.

"I'm not speaking for all men here, Mac. Don't put words in my mouth. Let's just say that from where I sit, I see a lot more men sitting on benches at the shopping mall than women at the ball park."

He looked directly at her to gauge her response. She gave him the all too familiar look. The look that he loved, the look that he dreaded. The look that said, "You just opened the door really wide, Sailor. You're going to be here for awhile."

"What, Mac? Are you saying that you disagree?"

She shook her head, as if this were sport and not conversation, deep down telling herself that this is what she loved about Harm, his ability to step in a proverbial pile of doo. Not to mention the fact that he usually got there with the arrogance of a jet jock attorney yet tried to escape with the charm of a boy. She never understood how he could balance the two.

She was going to be kind. They'd come too far to turn this into a heated debate. She was trying to choose her battles in life these days, especially with Harm.

"I think, Harm, that that is a broad generalization. Men do show great patience and reserve when waiting at the mall. But to generalize and say that based on that one observation, men are the pleasers…that's going a bit far."

"Explain." He was feeling bold.

Mac didn't disappoint.

"Sex."

"Sex?" Suddenly the fire felt as if it had spread onto his lap.

"One word, Harm: Faking."

"Faking?"

"Yes! Faking! Have you ever heard of men that fake it in the bedroom? No. You haven't. Because they're usually the speeding freight train that has its own schedule to keep, let's just way with no regard for the cargo along for the ride."

She really had no idea where that came from, but she went with it nonetheless. Quick to defend himself and all males, for that matter, he raised a hand to protest.

"Now waaaiiittt a minute, Mac. Talk about generalizing! That's not even fair. One bad apple does not a rotten crop make."

"True. I just wanted you to see that what you see and what you don't, are often the same side of the coin."

He wanted to probe further, but doing so would include him talking with Mac about her personal life and frankly, it would have made him sick.

She continued. "The Admiral, if he is in a relationship, may be the cause of the stress, you never know. Maybe he brings his work home with him. Maybe he ignores her. Maybe she doesn't feel like a priority. Maybe she'd like to go to the ball park, but he doesn't invite her to go."

He pulled a pillow from the couch and positioned it under his arm to get more comfortable.

"Point taken." He smiled.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few seconds, watching the fire crackle and dance.

"What do you think about Bud and Harriet? Do you think they're a good balance of give and take?" he asked.

"I'd say so." She smiled at the thought of their dear friends. "They genuinely love each other. I think they're a good example of healthy respect."

He laughed as if recalling a memory. "Not that they don't have their moments. Remember Christmas last year? I thought she was going to make him cry when she realized turkey wasn't done."

Mac laughed. "Harriet can be very persuasive."

Suddenly Harm remembered their exchange earlier in the office.

"Speaking of Harriet being persuasive, what were you so negative about earlier?"

The smile suddenly left Mac's face all together. If he didn't know any better, he saw her tense up.

"I wasn't being negative, Harm. Just firm."

"About what?"

"Nothing." She reached for a pillow from the couch and positioned it behind her back, now facing the fire, one leg over the other.

"C'mon, Mac. You can tell me. What in the world would you have to be firm about with Harriet?"

Mac was trying not to get annoyed, to little avail.

"It's nothing, Harm. Harriet may be the office darling, but that doesn't mean she isn't a little far fetched sometimes."

"Wow. Okay, I'm not sure where that came from."

"I'm sorry. It's just…I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, but whatever it is you know I'm here, right Mac?" He reached across and gave her hand a squeeze.

"I know you are. It's just, it's not that big of a deal. But thanks."

He gave her hand a final squeeze for emphasis and then stood to take their plates to the kitchen.

"So, about the movie. What's it going to be, Top Gun or Private Benjamin?" He knew how to get her riled in fun ways, too.

"Ha!" She stood to put the put the disc in the player. "Neither, Flyboy. I thought we'd watch something a little more engaging."

They each took a seat on the couch, comfortable but not too close, as she spread the blanket across their legs and started the movie.

"Oh, I get it. Something fluffy." He rolled his eyes in mock jest.

"You got it." She patted his knee and smiled as the screen darkened and the title of the movie was displayed.

"Aw, Mac. Really? _Full Metal Jacket_?"

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

The days had come and gone and turned in to weeks. Christmas was fast approaching and Mac hadn't felt so happy in a long time. Friday nights were becoming a regular occasion with Harm, and often Saturday morning runs in the park as well.

Their time together was light, comfortable and without tension for the first time in a long, long time. She still wondered about his comment on the ferry, "Not yet," preferring instead to focus on the fact that he acknowledged that he was only this way with her.

Whether or not they were ready to jump into a relationship, she didn't know. All she knew was that this man, her best friend in the world, was a source of joy in her life and one that she did not want to take for granted.

As she stepped off of the elevator and headed toward the bull pen, she was momentarily caught off guard by a presence of men with cameras, cords and a blond woman with a microphone, all in front of Harm's office.

"What's going on over there?" she asked Harriet.

Harriet rolled her eyes. "Oh, that. Some documentary on men in the military. That woman over there stormed in like she owns the place."

"Men in the military, or Harmon Rabb in the military?" Mac wondered aloud.

"Good question, Maam." Harriet smiled and answered the ringing phone.

As Mac made her way in to her office, she had to step over cords on the floor and around a man holding a tall light. He seemed annoyed that she had interrupted the scene.

She couldn't see Harm for all of the people in his door, but he could hear him—and her—and it certainly did not sound like _he_ was annoyed. She would have to head to Arlington soon to interview a key witness for an upcoming trial. She would likely be out most of the day, tying up loose ends and then, there was the doctor's appointment.

Mac hadn't said anything to Harm, rather tried to hide the pain in her lower back with frequent doses of ibuprofen and the occasional date with a heating pad. But the pain was increasing and Mac knew that she needed to get it under control.

Mac turned off the light in her office and closed the door just in time to hear the blonde laugh in a less than professional manner. Harm too, was laughing and a good time seemed to be had by all. She tried to peek in to say goodbye, but the crew was blocking her line of sight.

She shook her head and tried not to react like a junior high girl jealous of the popular cheerleader. It was a crisp, biting cold day but the sun was shining bright. Mac loved days like this in D.C. They reminded her of herself; two opposite extremes coming together at once, difficult to explain but impossible to ignore.

She smiled at the thought as she pulled on to the interstate. Harm had done wonders in affirming her the last several months. He didn't seem to know he was doing it, but his approval of her meant more than she had realized. After years of unhealthy relationships and a damaged self-esteem, Mac was beginning to feel comfortable in her own skin. And it felt really nice.

Same day, 9:00 p.m. 

She had been driving in circles for what felt like hours. Tears blurred her vision as she made her way in to the parking lot and finally stopped the car at the only place she knew to go.

She was trying to make sense of the doctor's words, trying to get them to stop replaying over and over in her mind. Her head was pounding and spinning and the same time. Here, she would be safe. He would hug her, he would comfort her. He would know just what to say.

She wiped the tears from her eyes and stepped off of the elevator. The light had been on, so she knew he was home. She knocked and waited for a response, thinking in her mind that she was going to forsake all pleasantries and just fall into his arms, whether it seemed too bold or not.

Lost in her thoughts, she was completely stunned at the exchange that was to follow.

"Hello?" The blonde said, wine glass in hand. There was a smirk to her that Mac did not appreciate.

"Uh, hi. Is Harm here?" Mac was trying not to look the part of a helpless child, but the confusion was increasing as was her anxiety.

The blonde did not move to welcome her in, rather, stood planted between Mac and Harm's apartment as if she was standing guard, a bouncer keeping out the riff raff.

"He's in the shower, actually." The blonde smiled, and said nothing else.

Mac was torn between sickness and anger. Had the reason for her visit not been so vital, she may have stood her ground and fought back; welcomed herself in and planted herself on the couch to gauge Harm's reaction.

Tonight, she couldn't. She wouldn't. Her stomach was in knots and she felt as though she would be sick.

"Okay, well, tell him that I came by if you would. Sarah. Sarah Mackenzie."

The blonde nodded as if making a mental note of the name and at the same time conveying that she had little interest in Sarah Mackenzie, and was going to make sure that Harm didn't either.

How she got home, she did not know. Mac stumbled in to her apartment, stood sobbing in the hot shower and fell in to bed bewildered and dismayed. She needed him and he wasn't there. Surely he would call. Surely she would hear a knock on her door in a matter of minutes. Surely, after all she had been through, this was some kind of a joke. Mac closed her eyes and finally drifted off to sleep, exhaustion taking over.

It would be morning before she would open her eyes, take in her surroundings, and piece together the events of the previous day. She lay completely still, wondering if she closed her eyes if it would all go away.

Past experience provided the answer to that. After years as a child falling asleep in the same manner, through tears and drowning out the background noise in her mind, she knew now that this must be her destiny, her cross to bear. The little girl, the confused adolescent, the wounded woman…they were all a part of her and the uniform could no longer hide the truth; Harm could no longer gloss over the truth: Happily ever after was not meant for Sarah Mackenzie.


	4. Chapter 4

Mac bustled about the apartment as much as she could, straightening the place and getting ready to go. She had ignored Harm's phone calls and texts up until now, but knew that a discussion could not be avoided for long; a discussion that she did not wish to have.

She stopped to look around. Everything in place. Her bag was packed and by the door. The procedure was scheduled and she had requested medical leave from the Admiral and sworn him to silence.

Harriet was next on her list. She crossed the room to reach for her cell phone off of the now spotless coffee table.

"Harriet? Hi. It's me. Listen, I just wanted to let you know, I'll do it. I'm going to be gone for awhile, but I'll do it. Just get me the contact info and I'll handle it myself. Okay? Thanks, Harriet. And uh, let's just keep this between us." There was a short pause as Mac mulled over the message she had just left. "Bye."

The emotional extremes of the last week had been exhausting, but Mac had mustered a resolve that was iron clad. Some would have called it irrational, angry. To Mac, it felt more like looking straight down the barrel of an unwelcome weapon and saying, "Bring it. I dare you."

Call it anger, call it her Marine training, whatever it was, it was fueling her desire to run, to leave, to flee, to re-evaluate and to get her thoughts together once and for all. It wasn't fair to Harm. On some level she knew that. But how fair was it for him to ignore her when she needed him most? Whether he intended to or not, he had. After showing up on his door step, he hadn't called for 2 entire days. What that meant, she could only imagine. But it wasn't worth analyzing and wasn't worth crying over. Not now.

And besides, the game had changed. Maybe him not knowing was best. She certainly couldn't bear to shatter his dreams as well as her own. Spoken or unspoken, their dream was dying. And it was all on Mac.

She grabbed her bag, let out a deep breath and locked the door behind her.

Later that morning

Harm came whistling in to the bull pen with an added spring in his step. Every one in the office assumed that it had to do with a certain blonde that had been appearing more often, but whatever the cause, he was happy and the whole world knew it.

He glanced toward Mac's office and noticed that her light was off. He found it slightly strange, since Friday was the scheduled staffing day, but assumed that she had a loose end to tie up on her new case.

Harriet seemed overly busy, but that wasn't necessarily new. He went into the break room for a cup of coffee and made his way back to his office to re-group before the meeting.

It was a little odd that Mac hadn't returned his calls, but it was Friday and he knew that they would probably connect at some point about the evening plans. Renee had been a definite distraction, but he was excited about the documentary and couldn't wait to share the details with Mac.

It wasn't until the staff meeting that Harm realized something was seriously wrong. When the Admiral reassigned two of Mac's biggest cases, he couldn't help but interject.

"Sir, if I may, where is Colonel Mackenzie and why are we getting her cases?" The concern in his voice was evident.

"Colonel Mackenzie is on an unspecified leave of absence, Commander. Need to know. Now, Lieutenant Roberts, where are we with the Jacobs court martial?"

Harm sat in disbelief the entire next hour, hearing very little of what was being discussed. He could tell that the Admiral wasn't going to offer any details, but was determined to get information any way that he could.

The meeting was over after what felt like a day, and Harm quickly stood to question the Admiral further.

"Sir, about Colonel Mackenzie, she usually tells me if something is wrong or if she's going to be gone, so I'm a little concerned that I didn't know about this, this 'leave'." He stammered.

The Admiral was prepared for this discussion and knew from years of experience how to handle these two. "Commander, as I stated earlier, the Colonel is taking an unspecified leave of absence. Now, the fact that she didn't say anything to you ahead of time leads me to believe that she would prefer not to specify her whereabouts. With you or anyone."

He had a way of making Harm feel small, but Harm's curiosity and concern gave him the nerve that he needed. He followed the Admiral out of the room and down the hall.

"Sir, with all due respect, this is highly out of character for the Colonel. I'm worried that something may be wrong and as her—her friend—"he stopped to choose his words carefully, "I feel that I need to know in case she needs my help!"

The desperation in his voice was evident, and if anyone had grown weary of the dance between these two, it was the Admiral. A part of him did in fact sympathize with Harm, but he knew that whatever it was that led to Mac's decision was serious, and not for him to disclose.

The Admiral stopped short of entering the bull pen and lowered his voice to an almost whisper.

"Harm, listen, I understand where you're coming from. I do. But what I don't know, I can't share." He took a deep breath. "And for what it's worth, I do share your concern. But we know Mac, and whatever it is, she'll handle it. Just like she always does."

That did little to make Harm feel better, but he could tell that the Admiral knew nothing. Defeated, he went in to his office and closed the door. He tried Mac repeatedly on her cell phone, but it went to voice mail every time. His next reasonable effort had to be Harriet.

"Ensign, could you please come in to my office?" He released the button from the phone and waited for her to come in.

"Please, sit." He closed the door behind her.

Harriet looked like a deer caught in the headlights. She sat straight, stiff and completely uneasy.

"Harriet, listen, I need to know where Mac went. This is not like her at all and we both know it. So, I need you to tell me, _where is she_?"

Harriet's lip began to quiver. "Oh sir, I wish I knew! I haven't seen the Colonel since Tuesday."

"Well have you tried calling her? Has she called you? Email, anything?"

"I missed a call from her earlier. She left a voicemail, but it really didn't say anything. I don't know where she is or why she's done this."

Harm believed her. Normally he would have pushed harder for details, but he could tell that Harriet would have shared had she known.

"Damnit." He said, slamming a pencil down. "Well do me a favor. If you hear anything, anything at all, let me know right away."

"I will, Sir. The same goes for you."

Harriet stood to leave. "And Sir? I'm sorry."

Across town, Mac lay still, eyes heavy and counting backward from 10 as the doctor had instructed. The next thing she knew, it was hours later. She awakened in pain, in the hospital and in the dark.

The doctor walked in with a somber look on her face. She looked at Mac's chart and stood beside the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Hurts." Mac muttered.

"You're going to be in pain for a while. The meds should help with that, but remember the restrictions that we talked about. No driving, no lifting, no strenuous exercise."

Mac nodded her head in agreement, knowing full well that the no driving was going to have to be broken.

"You did really well. The procedure went as expected and we'll talk more at your follow up. In the mean time, don't hesitate to call the office if you experience any redness or burning. You should be out of here by tomorrow at noon."

"Thanks." Mac tried to smile, but sleep overtook her once again.

She was in good hands. Even though she would have rather been anywhere else in the world, she knew that Dr. Lee was the best in her field.

Later that day

Harm had worked himself into a full fledged frenzy. Work was tedious and boring and Renee kept blowing up his phone with requests to meet. He ignored each one, and the minute the clock turned to 5:00, he secured for the weekend and was gone.

He didn't bother going home. He knew that if he were to get any answers, they would have to be from Mac herself. He pulled into the parking lot, entered the building and went bounding up the stairs. After knocking several times, he used the spare key and let himself in.

"Mac?" He called, even though he knew there would be no answer.

He flipped the light on and looked around the living room and kitchen. Nothing out of place, no dirty dishes in the sink. He opened the refrigerator door to see even less food than usual: A container of yogurt, a carton of picked over blueberries and three bottles of water.

He made his way down the hall, stopping in the bathroom to take a look. Nothing out of place, nothing unusual. He found the same in her bedroom. Clothes in place, bed neatly made and nothing on the floor or on the night stand.

He sat on the side of her bed and rested his elbows on his knees. He had to think. He had to find out where Mac was and what was wrong. He glanced across the room once more when he realized he may have gotten a break: The trash can.

He went to the trash can by her dresser: It was full of crumpled tissues. He dumped it out on the floor, looking for anything else. There was a price tag that had been cut from an item of clothing and that was all. He put the trash back and made his way in to the bathroom.

Digging through Mac's trash would have gotten him in big trouble if she knew, but he had to find her. He didn't care. He found more crumpled tissues, a lipstick container, a travel toothbrush holder and a wrapper from a hair clip. He loved it when Mac clipped her hair up in a messy pony tail. He smiled at the thought. Continuing to dig, he found a receipt and scanned it over: Travel shampoo, travel soap, some magazines and a blanket.

He looked further into the tiny can but found nothing. She was clearly going to be away, but where he still didn't know. Setting the can down, he decided to take a look in her medicine cabinet. He opened they small mirrored door and saw an enormous bottle of ibuprofen, almost empty. That seemed odd, he thought. He'd never seen Mac take a pill for any reason in all the time he'd known her.

He saw make up, perfume, toothpaste, mouthwash and cotton swabs, but nothing else substantial. He made his way in to the kitchen and hoped for more luck. There wasn't much, but a paper plate folded in half, an empty Starbucks cup and…a paper. He reached far down into the can and pulled it out. It was from the pharmacy, the paper bag that had held medication. He flipped it over and saw Mac's name along with the doctor who had prescribed it: Dr. Katherine Lee.

Finally! Something to go on. Scanning the kitchen once more, he noticed an empty note pad by the phone. He held it up to the light and saw the imprint of a pen that had left an outline from the previous page. Quickly he rifled through the junk drawer and found the stub of a pencil. He very lightly covered the page with pencil lead, hoping to be able to read what had been written.

It wasn't completely clear, but he was able to make out a few words and…a number. He inwardly rejoiced. He finished the pencil work and held the paper up to the light. It was partly illegible, but he found the letters oteague and the numbers 555-178, the last number was illegible.

He thought for a moment and then picked up his phone. He searched the internet and did a reverse lookup of the phone number, entering in each of the 10 possible choices. Finally, he hit the jackpot: 555-1794. It belonged to a beach side rental company in Chincoteague, Virginia.

"Like it or not, Mac, I'm going to find you." He mumbled to himself, placing everything back as he had found it, turning the lights off and leaving to lock the door.

* * *

A/N: I don't know how a story is going to unfold until I start typing. What I had in my mind and the direction that this is taking are not the same! I'll keep at it and post again very soon. Thanks for kind reviews. Love these characters and getting to "fix" the many things about them that we never got to see.


	5. Chapter 5

Harm went back to his apartment to think things through at least somewhat before tearing off after Mac. Clearly she had had more going on than what she let on, and the drive back to his place gave him pause for thought.

He wanted desperately to look up Dr. Katherine Lee, to see what type of doctor she was and why Mac might have been treated by her. Something deep inside advised otherwise. He couldn't explain it, but an overwhelming intuition told him to leave that part of it alone. Tracking her down would be harassment enough in her eyes. Showing up knowing the whole story without her ability to share it herself would have guaranteed two black eyes and one very sore six.

He pressed the button on his answering machine and walked to the fridge to grab a beer.

There was a beep, and then Renee's voice. "Harm, hi, it's me. Just wondering when we're going to meet up to discuss the edits to the documentary. Call me!" She chirped rather cheerfully and Harm wondered if her voice had always been so annoying.

There was another beep and then an automated message, a message from his mother, one more from Renee and that was it. He flung the cap from the beer bottle across the room until it came to rest under the couch.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sat at the bar and decided to dial the number he retrieved from Mac's. "Thank you for calling Barnaby's Rentals. Our business hours are Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Saturdays from 8 until noon. Your call is very important to us, please leave a message."

Harm hung up the phone. It was getting late and as much as he wanted to find Mac, he knew there was little he could do until morning. He finished his beer, took a shower and spent the remainder of the evening strumming his guitar, replaying every conversation with Mac that he had had in the last several weeks.

The next day

Mac was thrilled to get back in to her comfortable clothing and to get out of the hospital. She had to assure the nurses that she had called a cab, as they wheeled her down to the lobby. Normally they would have waited with her to help her get in, but Mac very firmly explained that it would not be necessary. Her pain had lessened, but her irritability had not.

The cab driver asked where she was headed, and shook his head when she said, "Around the corner, lot B."

Mac thanked him for the escape and paid him the little amount that she owed in fare. She winced slightly as she lowered her bag into the back seat of the car, and took in the cold, crisp air before heading to her new home for the next 10 days.

Renting a beach house seemed crazy, downright insane in December, but it was peace and quiet that she was after, not a bustling beach crowd, anyway. She took a long, cleansing breath and made her way out of the parking lot and onto the interstate. Peace and quiet was calling her name, and she couldn't get to it fast enough.

Across town, Harm was up and showered ready to go. He dialed the number of the rental company once more, and was thankful to hear a voice on the other end.

"Hi, my name is Rick and I'm just wondering if you can give me some information. I'm looking to get away in a week or so and just wondered what properties you may have available."

The woman on the other end was very kind. "Well, you're in luck! Since it's the off season, we have a number of properties available. How many will be staying with you?"

"Oh, that will just be me."

"Funny, we had a call like this earlier in the week! Must be in the air, people needing to get out of the city or something."

"Yeah, maybe." He wanted to press for details, but had to play it cool. He listened patiently as she described the properties available, their locations as well as pricing.

"Uh-huh, I see." He politely replied. "Well, they all sound lovely. But you said that someone called in a similar situation. I'm just wondering when that property might be available. It sounds like if it's just one person there now, it may be something more my size."

"Oh, that's the house on Shore Dr. It's a lovely little place, more of a bungalow than a home, but it is right on the water and would be available let's see…not until the 12th. Would you like me to go ahead and book it for you now?"

"On second thought, I'd better think this over. My work schedule is always changing, and before I commit I'd better make sure that I have the time away. But thank you very much for your time."

He hung up the phone and thought again about what he would do once he found Mac. Thinking things out ahead of time was not really his forte, but something told him that he needed to tread lightly. This was not at all like her. Something was wrong and he wanted to be there for her.

On the other hand, it was Saturday, he hadn't asked for time off next week, and he felt the clock ticking. Letting emotion get the better of him, he packed an overnight bag and headed out the door.

An hour later, Mac dropped wearily onto the couch in the front room of the rental. It was a quaint little place, with bright yellow walls and white wooden blinds. The view of the ocean was amazing. She made a mental note to come back again when it wasn't the dead of winter. She realized that she hadn't brought groceries, but was too tired to care. She drifted off to sleep and hoped that after a nap, she'd be more inclined to go out.

It was two hours later when she awakened to someone knocking on the door. It seemed to get louder and louder, causing her to wake up quicker than she'd like. She saw the large form from behind the patterned glass in the door and wondered who in the world felt the need to bother her on her first night in.

When she opened the door, she couldn't believe her eyes.

"Hi Mac."

Harm stood on the small front porch, nose red and hands shoved in his coat pockets. She said nothing, still in shock.

"Mind if, uh, mind if I come in? It's a little bit cold out here."

Mac stepped aside, still not registering what he was doing there.

He stood tentatively by the door, knowing that this could get ugly quick if he didn't watch his words.

"What—what are you doing? How did you find me?" Inwardly Mac was thrilled, but that part had yet to completely register with the anger that was fighting for first place.

"Mac, listen. I know you're probably mad, but you can't just take off on me like that. I was worried."

She could see it in his eyes. It was the truth, etched all the way across his forehead.

She shook her head and motioned for him to sit down. She sat in the large chair across from the couch and tried to wake up from the deep sleep, tried to make sense of what was happening.

"How did you find me?" She was stuck on that one point. She thought sure no one knew where she was.

He looked down at the floor. He really was not ready to be thrown out of the house mere minutes after arriving, but he knew she needed to make sense of his being there.

"I uh…I was worried. Like I said, I hadn't heard from you, you didn't answer my calls, and then when you weren't at work, I knew something was really wrong."

When he framed it like that, Mac felt a twinge of guilt.

"I went to your apartment. Again, Mac. I was worried sick about you. I found a note pad on the counter and, kind of figured it out from there."

She sat completely still, processing what he'd just said.

"Look, I needed to know that you're all right. I'm worried, Mac. We'd been doing so well and—"

At that, she snapped her head up to respond. "Really? Well? You think we'd been doing well?" She motioned with her hand back and forth, pointing to him and then to her.

Ouch. Something had set her off, and he was about to find out what.

"Mac, I—I don't understand. I mean, at least I thought that we were friends, that if something was wrong you would come to me, not just run off without so much as a word."

"You think I didn't come to you?" She almost spat. Not wanting to fight, but needing to release the hurt that had been pent up for days.

Harm was utterly confused. "Mac, when did you? When did you ever tell me that something was wrong?"

"I tried, Harm. But you were a little preoccupied."

Still, he was confused. None of this was making sense. She decided to help him out.

"With a certain blonde?"

Suddenly his heart sank into the pit of his stomach. It still didn't make sense, but some how Mac had the impression that Renee and he—the thought made him cringe. His eyes widened in disbelief.

"What are you talking about, Mac? When was I with Renee and didn't talk to you?"

"Oh, Renee. So that's her name? How sweet! Well, next time you might want to tell _Renee _that when a friend knocks on your door, she _might_ want to give you the message!"

She didn't want this. She didn't need this. She was tired and sore and thankful that he was there. But she couldn't just go backwards. She had come here to make up her mind, to resolve to go back to needing no one and to depending only on herself.

Harm stood and paced back and forth, running his hands through his hair. "You came to my apartment and she was there? Mac, she's only been there once and—" Suddenly it all became clear.

"Oh. Oh. Mac, I'm so sorry. She was adamant about discussing the documentary and I didn't feel like going out. I'd had a long day and—"

"And what, you thought you'd invite her in, give her some wine and see where things led?" The words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. Her deepest insecurities were coming to the surface and she could do nothing to stop it.

"Mac, no! It wasn't like that!" He whipped around and knelt before her, attempting to take her hands in his. At this, she wanted to cry. _Damnit, Mac. Do not cry,_ she told herself.

"Why didn't you come in? You have to know that I wanted to see you, would have much rather been with you than an overbearing producer that I just wanted out of my hair."

"Well, inviting someone to your home seems like an awfully strange way to get rid of them."

He looked down. "You're right. You're right, Mac and I'm sorry. You have to believe me, I'm so sorry. She never told me that you stopped by and was probably only there for 30 minutes. I didn't want her to stay and I did my best to make that known. I must have been in the bathroom, or I would have come to you, you know that, right?"

A large tear now spilled over and went rolling down her cheek. His words were convincing. She wanted to believe him. But the hurt, emotional and physical…it had been too much to bear.

"She said you were in the shower." Why it felt necessary to rehash each shrewd comment that had been made, she didn't understand. But it was.

The wheels began to turn in Harm's mind. Suddenly he could see how it must have looked, must have felt from Mac's point of view.

"_What_? Mac, I did not take a shower with that woman in my house! You have to believe me. I don't know where she gets off thinking that she can treat my—treat you—like this, but you have to believe I had no idea. I'm so, so, sorry, Mac. Please, tell me that you believe what I'm saying!"

He clasped her hands tighter, forcing them out of their fist position and intertwining her fingers with his.

The tears were flowing steadily now, and she was mad at the vulnerability being shown. She released her hands from his and moved him aside so that she could stand.

"I don't know what to believe, okay, Harm? I mean. It's not like you owe me an explanation,"

He started to interrupt, but she would not allow it.

"but damn you! Damn you!" She practically screamed, knowing this was more about the diagnosis than his being with the blonde.

He could tell that there was more here, but patiently he waited, stepping back and sitting slowly in the chair, literally giving her the floor.

She wiped the tears as quickly as they fell. "You know it's hard for me to trust, Harm."

He nodded.

"So whether or not I believe you or not, I don't know and frankly, right now I _don't care_. Go screw your blonde or whomever else you want, because I'm not a part of your life, ok?"

Now he couldn't help but speak. "Mac, I don't know where this is coming from, but to say that you're not a part of my life is absolutely not true! Damnit, Sarah. You _are_ my life, don't you get that?"

He pleaded with her in his eyes, in his voice, but she had only heard the words.

She sat down a little too forcefully on the couch, causing her to grasp her lower back for relief. The movement was not lost on Harm. He immediately went to her, sitting beside her and pulling her to him.

At this, she broke. Sarah Mackenzie fell apart in his arms, sobbing for what felt like an eternity. He simply held her, stroking her hair with one hand, holding her tight with his other arm. She needed this. Damn, whatever this was, she needed to let it out.

Slowly the crying stopped. Mac was worn now even more but thankful to have him there to pick up the pieces. How she would explain this was another story, and partly what triggered the rampage of tears.

He leaned slowly back on the couch, taking her with him. He kissed her lightly on the top of her head, not wanting to lose contact with her even for a second.

They sat like this in complete silence for several minutes. Her breathing became less labored and the tension slowly left her body.

"Sarah, it doesn't have to be now. It doesn't have to be tomorrow or the next day. But whenever you're ready, you can tell me. I want you to tell me. Whatever it is, nothing's changed."

At this he felt her tense up again and made him wonder what he may have said wrong.

He kissed her again on the top of her head. "I know you probably wanted to be here alone, so if you want me to leave I will. But I'm asking you to consider letting me stay. I don't want to leave you, Mac. Not now, not ever."

The last part was almost a whisper. Emotion had gripped him as well and she could hear it in his voice.

Her left hand rested calmly on his chest. She grabbed a hand full of his shirt and whispered, "Stay. Please. I don't want to be alone any more."


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: We're plugging along. Thank you for your patience as I chip away at a story that is creating a life of it's own! I write and post quickly. Apologies for errors not caught.

* * *

The loud sound of Mac's growling stomach was just the lighthearted interruption that was needed. She laughed and covered her stomach with one hand.

"Geez, Mac. When was the last time you've eaten?"

"It's…been awhile."

He removed his arm from behind her and stood to walk into the kitchen.

"There's nothing there." Mac said after lying back on the sofa.

"Did you bring groceries?"

"Not really."

"Mac, how are you supposed to get by with no food? I'll run in and get some groceries. I can make dinner and get a few extras to sustain you."

"Harm, you don't have to do that. I planned to, really. When I was feeling up to it."

Harm walked back in to the living room.

"Mac, you need to eat."

"I know. But maybe we can both go; grab some dinner and then find a grocery store."

She sat up slowly and stood, removing her hair clip and straightening it with her fingers in order to clip up again.

"Are you sure you feel like going out?" Harm had no idea what was ailing her, but he certainly did not want to be responsible for pushing her.

"Yeah, I do. Maybe not for long, but I'd like to get out, see the town before it gets too dark."

"Okay, then. If you're sure." He grabbed their coats and his keys and opened the door to leave. As he did, the cold air hit them both.

"Lovely beach weather we're having." He smiled.

She smiled back. It was good to have him here.

They drove in to town in relative silence, looking for any restaurant that may be open. They agreed on an out-of-the way Surf Shack and made their way inside.

The restaurant was mainly empty, except for a table of older couples in the corner, talking and laughing. The hostess seated them near the back, in a booth out of the way of the other guests.

"Thank you," Mac said as she took the menu and sat down. The table had a small candle lit that stood next to the condiments and sweeteners. It was not formal dining by any means, but it was rustic and charming nonetheless.

Harm removed his coat and slid in to the booth directly facing her. This was the first time they had made real eye contact since his arrival. He was trying to keep the mood light, allowing her to set the tone of discussion, but he felt a bit uneasy about the elephant in the middle of the room.

Mac skimmed over the menu and quickly made her decision, closing the menu and ordering coffee to drink. Harm too, ordered coffee and continued to look over the day's specials.

When the waitress brought the coffee, they ordered clam chowder and the salmon salad, respectively. She smiled and said that bread would be out shortly.

Mac let out a deep breath. She knew that she couldn't avoid the subject forever, but she did not want to get into an emotional discussion at the restaurant.

"So, the documentary..." she began. "Tell me about it."

Harm laughed, as if it were no longer a project that excited him.

"Well, Mac, given the producer's extreme lack of professionalism, I'd say that project is pretty well tanked."

"What do you mean?" She lifted the mug with both hands to her mouth and gently blew into the brown.

"Mac, come on. I can't work with someone who takes such liberties. I mean, it's too bad, really. I was kind of excited about it at first."

He smirked. "Stupid."

"Why is it stupid?" She asked.

"I don't know. I mean, I guess I made it out to be more in my head than it was going to be."

"In what way?"

"Don't laugh, but I thought that it might be fun, being a part of something that would out-live me. You know, I never had videos of my dad. Just audio recordings and letters. I don't know. It's crazy. I guess I just thought it might be nice to be a part of something like that to have for my kids."

Mac's face went ashen white. She set her mug down on the table, still cradling it with both hands for warmth, but looked far off in to the distance, honing in on the swordfish plaque on the other side of the restaurant.

"Mac, what is it? What did I say?"

He reached across the table and covered her hands with his own.

She tried really hard not to cry.

"Nothing," a half-cocked smile emerged, "it's just…funny you should mention that."

"What, the documentary?"

"No." She looked down at their hands, now clasped together, rubbing her thumbs back and forth over his hands.

"Kids." It was barely audible.

He was thoroughly confused.

"I don't understand."

Right then the waitress delivered their food. They separated to allow room for the dishes and politely signaled that they did not need anything else.

He did not want the conversation to die. She knew it would have to be said at some point. She took a long, hard look at the chowder and then looked up at Harm.

It was obvious that she was trying not to cry.

"This isn't exactly how I imagined having this discussion." She looked at him, full of sincerity and warmth, eyes glazed with concern.

"Well if you'd rather not…"

"No. It's okay. Might as well."

She took a deep breath and placed both hands in her lap.

"I, uh. I've been having some pain. In my lower back." Her eyes were searching the room, trying to look at anything but Harm.

She decided to continue before she changed her mind. "I went to see the doctor who told me that I have…"

She had yet to say the word out loud to anyone. A stray tear fell down the corner of her eye and rolled along the outer edge of her cheek. He quickly reached across the table to wipe it away, leaving his open palms on the table for her to place her hands in his. She did, and he gave them a squeeze.

"Mac, damnit, you're scaring me. What? You have what?" His eyes were wild with concern.

She looked down at their hands, then looked him directly in the eyes.

"I have endometriosis."

"What does that mean? It's not cancer, right?"

"Right. It's not cancer, but it means that my chances of having a baby are rather slim."

She couldn't believe that she had just blurted it out like that.

"Yesterday I went in and she performed a laparoscopy. That's why…that's why I'm sore."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Jeez, Mac! Why didn't you tell me? Why did you think you had to do this alone?" He was slightly angry.

"Because, the night I went to talk to you, when she first gave me the diagnosis…I needed you. I wanted you to explain it all away." She scoffed. "When you weren't…available, I didn't know what else to do. I went home and…I guess my own thoughts went wild, old demons crept in and next thing you know, I'm waking up in a hospital room preparing to leave town."

Harm was stunned. He shook his head in disbelief. He withdrew his hands from hers and raised them to cover his face, as if wiping away the pain would have an actual effect.

"I can't—I can't believe you did this, Mac. Without talking to me."

"Harm, I tried."

"Damnit, Mac, you could have tried again! Did you really think that after everything we've been through, after the way things have been going, that I wouldn't want to be there for you?"

He was hurt, but it sounded like anger. She began to retreat just a bit.

"I, I was confused, Harm. And scared." Silence. "Still am."

"Well, you don't have to be any more, Mac. I'm here, and I don't care what you say, I'm not going anywhere. We'll deal with this. Together."

She shook her head, as if she wanted to believe him. "It's not that simple, Harm."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's _not_." She said forcefully. "Whatever we have between us, wherever it leads or doesn't…this changes things!"

"In what way?"

"Oh I don't know, Harm. What about our five year deal? Were you serious about that? Because if you were, it's going to be kind of hard to go halves on a kid that I can't carry!"

Harm looked annoyed and confused. "Mac, do you really think that this would keep me from wanting to be with you?"

"It's kind of a game changer."

"Not to me it's not."

"Harm, you haven't thought this through yet."

"Well obviously neither have you!"

She looked up in slight offense.

"I'm serious. What the hell makes you think you can make up my mind for me? Whether you can carry a baby or not, that matters so very little to me right now. Do you realize how serious this could have been? Do you realize for one second all of the crazy scenarios that went through my head when I realized you were gone?"

"I'm sorry. I was scared and when I get scared, I—"

"You run. Yeah, I know." He cracked a smile. "Well do me a favor, Marine. Don't _ever_ do something like this again."

"I can't promise you that."

"Okay, maybe you can't. Yet. But in time I believe you will. Mac, you run because you're afraid, and because you're not used to having anyone or anything to support you, to be home base."

She was startled by his observation.

"It's true and you know it. And you also know that that's no longer the case. At least, not if you don't want it to be."

A small smile emerged on her face.

"I'm serious, Mac. I'm in no way trying to minimize what you're going through and how this must affect you, but you can't make lateral decisions like this without including me. Not any more."

She arched an eyebrow in response to his boldness.

"Is that right, Sailor?"

"Yeah, Mac. It is." He puffed his chest out slightly in pride.

"So does this mean, what, that I'm spoken for?" The butterflies swirled in her still empty stomach. It felt good to feel giddy and light again.

He leaned across the table as did she. Before their lips met he whispered, "Oh yeah. You're spoken for all right."

The kiss was long yet tender, not too firm but affirming. It was the first kiss that they had shared in which there were no false pretenses, no hidden motives and no buried feelings.

When they parted, she smiled and said, "You are quite persuasive, Counselor."

"I know it." He grinned wide. "And chivalrous, too."

She rolled her eyes and took the first bite of the now cool chowder.

"Right. Chivalrous." She laughed before taking another bite. "We'll see about that."

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

They lingered at the door for what had been a longer than planned goodbye. He couldn't stop kissing her. She welcomed each one. Holding her close, his hands snaked up her back to her shoulders and then back down to her hips.

Her hands rested gently on his shoulders, fingers playing lightly with the back of his short hair.

"So," she muttered between kisses, "I guess I'll see…you…in…a few…days."

"Mmm-hmm," he hummed as he continued his assault, this time down the side of her neck, peeling her gray T-shirt back just enough to leave a trail along her collar bone.

She leaned her head back and smiled.

"Harm," her smile was evident in her voice.

He stopped to take a breath and rested his forehead on her collar bone.

"What." he said grumpily.

"It's not that I want you to go, you know that."

"I know. But if you would just consider coming back with me…"

"And leave my car here, and the rest of the week on the rental?"

He leaned back against the door, creating some space between them, but never losing contact. He placed a strand of her hair in his hand and began playing with it absentmindedly.

"Tell me you're not going to use the entire rest of the week, are you?"

"I don't know." She grew more serious. "Some time away may still be a good thing. I've got a lot to consider."

The reality of her prognosis still hung in the air although the burden was lifted in sharing it with Harm, it allowing him to talk with her over the course of the day and previous evening. Her faith in him had been restored, not that it would have taken much. She knew that she'd been childish to assume and to run away without a word. If this between them was going to work, she knew she would have to give consideration to his feelings in the future before making rash decisions.

"Some time away is a good thing. Too much time away can be lonely." He tried to smile. "I don't want you getting so lost in your thoughts again that you lose sight of what lies ahead."

"I know." She smiled. "I won't."

"So, when will I see you then?"

"How about I promise to be back no later than Friday?"

"That's still 5 days away. I don't know, Mac. I don't like leaving you here this long."

"I'll be fine, I promise. And who knows? I may come back earlier. It all depends."

"On?"

She leaned forward to kiss him just behind the ear.

"On…" she then planted a kiss precisely on his jaw, "whether…or…not…"

She continued her own assault down the front of his neck, pushing his shirt away and covering every inch of his shoulder before making her way back up his neck to behind the ear where she began.

He let out a moan of approval.

"…I can stay…away…from my new…"

"Yeah?" his eyes closed in pleasure, not wanting this to end.

"…slippers."

He jerked his head back, confused. "What? Slippers, Mac—"

"I'm kidding. I do have new slippers, but I can stay away from them longer than I can from…you."

Her eyelids closed once more and she leaned in for a slow, perfectly fused kiss. He reached up to cup her face in his palms. Kissing her was his new favorite hobby, and he didn't want it to end.

Finally stopping for good, he rested his forehead against hers.

"Call me."

"I will."

"Daily."

"I will. And be careful driving back."

He let out a long sigh. "I don't like this."

"I know. But the week will go by quickly, promise."

He opened the door and turned to leave. "Ha, easy for you to say. You weren't assigned two new cases while your partner went on leave."

She frowned. "Sorry. I'll be back in action in no time, promise."

"Bye, Mac."

"Bye." She smiled and closed the door behind him, locking it and returning to the couch.

Who was she kidding? This would last two days if she were lucky.

Her phone rang from across the room and she assumed that it would be Harm, although she did not recognize the number.

"Hello? Yes, this is she. Right, oh yes. Right. Uh-huh, uh-huh, yes she told me a little bit about that. Uh-huh. Yes, okay. That would be perfect, actually. Okay, thank you. I'll see you then."

She ended the call and lay down on the couch, pulling a pillow up underneath her chin. She took a deep breath and inhaled the still fresh scent of Harm's cologne. _Two days? Maybe one. _She thought to herself.

The next morning_  
_Mac had slept well. She awakened to the sun streaming through the blinds and this time, was not hoping to fall back asleep. After she showered and dressed, she made her way in to town to the rental agency.

She wanted to see about transferring the remainder of her time to another week, when maybe the weather was warmer. The lady at the desk had been gracious enough to oblige. Mac thanked her, and told her she would turn in her key by late afternoon. She quickly realized that staying away was not therapeutic when you were no longer running.

She visited a few of the shops, ate brunch at a small café and made her way back to the cottage. Packing her things, she decided to call Harm to see how his day was going.

"Hello?" he answered right away.

"Hey, Sailor. Just thought I'd say good morning. Are you at the office?"

"Unfortunately, yes. Are you in your apartment yet?"

She smiled. "Noooo, I am still in the cute little cottage in Virginia."

"Hmm. Well, that's too bad. I was going to cook shrimp scampi for dinner tonight but, I guess I'll have to eat alone."

"Well, if I happen to be in the neighborhood, I'll be sure to swing by."

She could hear the Admiral talking in the background.

"Uh, sorry. I need to go. I'll call you later."

"Sure, no problem. Bye."

She took one last look around and made a mental note of her surroundings. This was a peaceful place and were it the middle of summer, she would have nestled in a chair with a good book on the beach.

She packed the remainder of her belongings and locked the door behind her. After returning the key, she decided to make her way back to the place she should have never left, the place where she belonged: Home.

* * *

A/N: Short and sweet but on to the beginning of the end! Thank you for kind reviews.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: It's getting fun now! Love these guys and love picturing them the way that we all wanted to for so long! More will follow soon. I hate it when stories linger incomplete, so rest assured that the chapters will keep coming. Thanks again for reviews. Also, I realized that so many references to hair clips do not match Mac's hair in Australia. :/ Call it creative liberty, I just like the thought of her in a messy bun from time to time! Enjoy.

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It was several hours later before Harm was able to call her back. He hoped more than anything that she was on the road to his place, but didn't want to pressure her. If time away was what she needed, then he would try to be patient.

His call went straight to voicemail. "Hey, Mac. It's me. Sorry it took so long to call back. Crazy day at the office. Be glad you weren't there. Anyway, shrimp's on the stove, hope you've had a good day. Call me. Bye."

Mac purposefully did not answer his call, wanting to surprise him. She made her way into the parking lot just after dark and was relieved to see that his light was on. The last time she was here had not been pleasant. She tried to shake the image of Renee out of her head.

She made her way out of the elevator and down the hall. Feeling like a giddy school girl was an unfamiliar yet very welcome feeling. She decided to make a fun entrance, so she knocked on the door and then stood off to the side, out of sight.

Harm opened the door, hoping that it was Mac. When no one was there, he looked down and saw a pair of leopard print slippers. He grinned from ear to ear and stepped out into the hallway where she greeted him enthusiastically.

"Hope you don't mind. I uh, thought I should keep these guys over here since you're so fond of them and all."

He pulled her into his arms and into the apartment, kicking the door closed while his mouth eagerly found hers. He held her head in place firmly with his right hand, as if ensuring that she could not escape.

They stepped backwards in unison, until she was pinned between Harm and the door. With his free hand, he held her by the waist, ensuring that not a molecule of air would fit in between.

She welcomed the affection, hungrily meeting his mouth with her own and allowing her hands to explore the underneath of his shirt, feeling the sensation of his skin on hers.

When they finally broke for air, his breathing was labored. She reached up to wipe the corner of his mouth.

"Wow, Sailor. Does this mean that you're okay with the slippers?"

He smiled and leaned in to hug her, placing his mouth over her hear and whispering with warm breath that made her weak in the knees, "I'm okay with whatever you want to be here, as long as you come with it."

Realizing that they needed to cool down a bit, he stepped away, but not before a quick nibble of her earlobe. He backed away and led her by the hand into the kitchen.

"Wow,that smells delicious." She exclaimed.

"Good, it's almost ready." He reached for the plates in the cabinet and set them on the counter. "I made enough, just in case."

She smiled, slightly embarrassed. "You knew I'd be back."

"I hoped."

They ate dinner in comfortable conversation. Harm explained the frustrations of the day, mainly the ones that included the Admiral. Mac opened up a little bit about how she was feeling. She said that the pain had lessened immensely and that her appetite seemed to be back. At that, she lifted her fork and pointed directly at him, "Don't say it." She smiled.

She stood to retrieve his plate with her own and took them to the sink. She stood there, rinsing them off while he gathered the rest of the dishes.

"So, I was thinking," she began, "I have a follow up appointment with Dr. Lee on the 20th and I was wondering if you might, if you'd like to go along." She stopped what she was doing in anticipation of his reaction.

He immediately set the dishes down and came to stand beside her, back leaning against the counter so that he could see her.

"Mac, yes. Of course I'd like to be there."

She looked down into the now sudsy water. "Well, think about it if you want. I mean, it's not like you have to or anything."

He leaned in front of her and gently turned her chin to face him fully. "Mac, it's going to be okay. Whatever the doctor says, we'll deal with it. Okay?"

She nodded, still uneasy and still somewhat in shock about the entire situation. "It's just that—well it's just that—if you don't like what you hear, I mean, I won't hold you to anything. You know…us."

At that he grabbed a dishtowel, lifted her hands from the water and dried them off before leading her over to the couch. He sat down, then pulled her down on top of him, so that she was sitting sideways on his lap. He wanted her to be able to look at him as he was speaking.

"Mac, look at me."

She did.

"If you hear nothing else from my mouth for the rest of my life you need to hear this: _I_. _Love. You._ I probably always have, and God knows I always will."

Her eyes grew wide at the admission.

"You don't have to say anything back, and if you're uncomfortable with this, I'm sorry. We can move at whatever pace you'd like. But you're right. My actions and my words don't always match, but it's time that they did. I will be there for you, through thick and thin. Not because you're my buddy or my partner or because we work together. Because I love you. Okay? And no diagnosis, no temper tantrum, no health issue, nothing is going to make me turn my back on you."

He held her chin between his thumb and his index finger, making sure that she couldn't look away.

She felt as though she would turn to liquid, right then and right there. Tears welled up in her eyes and she lifted a hand to wipe them away. He released the gentle grip on her chin and pulled her slowly to him and kissed her on the forehead.

"Thank you." Was all that she could manage to say. Never had she felt such trust, such genuine love from someone in all her life.

He pulled her close for a hug and held her for a moment.

"Do you still plan to take the rest of the week off?" He decided to change the subject. She had certainly dealt with enough shock for one week, declaring his undying love came as sort of a shock to him, too. Although it felt right, he knew that Mac had to mull things over; she did not take matters of the heart lightly at all.

She finished wiping the tears and then rested her head on his shoulder. "I think so. I hate to bury you in paper work, but it seems like I need a little bit more time to prepare myself."

"No one has to know."

"I know. And they won't, but I will. Every time Harriet shows me a picture of little AJ—"

She did not want to go there, and quickly changed the subject.

"Anyway, yes, I think I'll take the rest of the time off and maybe get some things checked off my to do list."

"Oh yeah, like what?" He was now rubbing her back slowly with his right hand, and had his left hand planted firmly on her knee.

"Just little stuff. I need to get the oil changed in my car, I need to upgrade my cell phone, I need to meet with—"

She stopped herself.

"Meet with who?"

"Oh, no one. It's this, this _thing_ for Harriet."

"Does this thing have something to do with her persistence in the office?"

"Yes, it does."

"So you changed your mind?"

"Yeah. I did. She says it's for a worthy cause, so, I don't know. We'll see."

"Well I'd like to hear more about it."

"You will, I'm sure. It's just, it's kind of silly."

Before she could finish the sentence, she had to cover her mouth with a big yawn.

He kissed her on the top of her head once more.

"I bet you're tired."

"I shouldn't be. I slept in late and took my time getting here."

She yawned again. "But I guess I should turn in." She moved to stand and to get her keys and leave, but he held her by the wrist.

"Mac, you know you're welcome to stay here. No strings attached, no funny business."

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was serious.

"While it may be difficult for obvious reasons, I would welcome you sleeping here. With me. Just. Sleeping."

She was surprised by the invitation although she wasn't sure why. They had shared a bed in Virginia, fully clothed and just sleeping in one another's arms. But something about his place, his bachelor pad, it had seemed so elusive all these years. She could only imagine where her mind would take her if she let it wander.

"Thank you. And it is tempting, believe me. But I think I'm just going to crawl into my own bed this time. That way I don't have to feel bad about you leaving for work while I lie there in all my pajamed glory."

He laughed at her description. "Pajamed glory, huh? Well that's a new one. And to be honest, it's not exactly how I picture you in my bed," She slapped him playfully on the arm. "But I understand."

She reached for her keys and walked to the door, turning to kiss him goodbye.

"Thank you, Harm. For tonight. For everything."

She leaned in to kiss him and hoped that she could silently convey all that her heart was trying to say.

"Thank _you_, Mac."

"Call me tomorrow?" She opened the door to leave.

"You bet." He smiled.

As badly as she wanted to stay, to sleep soundly in his arms, she knew that she anything worth having was worth waiting for. She had been impulsive in all of her other relationships, and they had all ended in disaster. If she was going to make this work with Harm, she would have to take it slow.

As she tucked herself in to bed and turned off her light, she re-played his words in her mind. _He loves me_. She thought to herself. _Harmon Rabb loves me._ She drifted quickly off to sleep, amazed at how much life could change in one week.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: This is not as long as I would like, but a little something to last until chapter 10. It has been a long day in the real world but I wanted to keep the momentum going! Thank you for the kind reviews.

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They sat together in front of the fire, as they had many nights prior. The white lights on the Christmas tree blinked on and off as if taking turns standing watch. Harm leaned back against the couch, Mac lazily against him, legs intertwined with his.

"Are you sure you're okay with us not going out?" She asked.

"Are you kidding? This beats the crowds any day. Besides, I'd rather ring in the new year with you, not with you and fifty thousand other people." He turned to plant a kiss on top of her head.

"Me too." She smiled, reaching to take his hand in her own, raising it up and placing a gentle kiss on each knuckle.

"How do you feel about resolutions? Do you make them, break them or skip them all together?" He asked.

"Oh, I don't know. A little of both, I suppose. But this year feels different. I think I want to resolve to worry less and live more."

"I like the sound of that."

"If Dr. Lee was right, then my future may not look so bleak after all."

"_Our_ future, you mean."

"Right. _Our_ future. I like the sound of that." She paused for a moment, then sat up straight to look directly at him, draping her legs across his lap. "I know we've been over this a thousand times, but it helps that you were there too. It was good news, right? I wasn't just hearing things?"

"You weren't just hearing things, Mac. She was pleasantly surprised after the procedure that the blockage was not what she had feared. We just have to be patient and keep the faith."

"I'm going to try. I really am. Not that we're ready for a baby or anything…"

"If it were up to me, Mac, yeah, it would be tempting to jump right in. But selfishly, there's a bigger part of me that would like to enjoy this a little longer. Long nights and diaper duty will happen when it's time. Right now, I'd like us to enjoy being us."

"You're right. And I'm glad to hear you say that. It's easy to get carried away with worry, wondering if there is a big almighty clock ticking loudly and I just don't know it."

"I know. That's normal. But we don't want fear to control us. Let's just let nature take its course and what's meant to be will be."

She smiled and reached up to plant a soft kiss on his mouth.

"Who knew you were such a wise, insightful man?"

"And don't forget—"

"I know." She smiled.

"Chivalrous" they said in unison.

"You have to admit, Mac, I had a point all those weeks ago."

"I do, and you did. You are, chivalrous, Harmon Rabb, and I'm thankful that I get to be the main beneficiary of such selfless deeds."

"Like your Christmas present, it was pretty nice, wasn't it?"

As confident and strong as Harm outwardly appeared to be, Mac had quickly learned that like any one, he appreciated affirmation too. She tried to set aside their competitive banter in favor of more encouraging words, as it seemed to truly resonate.

"My Christmas present, Harm…you went above and beyond. The carriage ride? The dinner and the bracelet?" She lifted her arm to look at the diamond and sapphire studded bracelet to shine in the light of the fire. "You will never know how much that all meant to me. I'm only sorry that part of my gift isn't here yet."

"That's okay, Mac. I'm sure whatever it is will be worth the wait."

"Well, I don't know. It could be really good or really, really bad."

"Now I'm intrigued! Hopefully I don't have to wait much longer."

"So do I."

They sat in comfortable silence once more.

"I wish you didn't have to go TAD next week," she said.

"You're telling me. Two days in a cramped bunk on the Guadalcanal with a bunch of wild sailors is no longer my idea of a good time."

"Well, I hope you can wrap up the investigation quickly."

"Me too. Coming home to you is the added incentive that I need."

He lifted his left arm to look at his watch.

"Two minutes and counting. Should we turn on the TV?"

"Nah." She smiled and moved to straddle him across his lap. "Dick Clark can celebrate without us."

She gently cupped his face and leaned in for a long, searing kiss.

"Happy New Year," she whispered between breaths.

"Happy New Year," he mumbled in response.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: What I love most about these guys is the conflict adn their ability to resolve it. I felt like so much of that was minimized on the show. Anyway, this chapter was the inspiration for the entire story, I just didn't plan on it taking so long to get here. Thanks again for the kind reviews. We're not done yet!

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She lit the single tapered candle on the table and stepped back to take one last look. Everything was perfect. It was just his favorite carry out, but after three days on the Guadalcanal, he would be happy to have some variety.

She had tried to call his cell phone with no answer, so assumed that their standing date of dinner upon his return would stand. She looked at the clock again and sent yet another text.

"Hey, where are you? Dinner's ready. Can't wait to see you."

Just as she was about to send the text, she heard a knock on her door. She flung the door open with a smile on her face.

"Well hello—"

She stopped short. He stood before her, still in uniform, face tense and eyes dark.

"Harm, are you ok? Did something happen?"

He clenched his jaw and stepped in to the apartment, ignoring her effort to greet him with a kiss.

She stood by the door, tentative and somewhat scared. She had never seen him like this before.

He paced back and forth slowly, and then went to stand with his back to her, looking out the window.

"Harm, what is it? What's _wrong_?"

He shook his head and looked down, before turning around to face her. The look on his face was one that she'd rather quickly forget.

"I don't even know where to begin, Mac."

He was mad. At her. But for the life of her could not figure out why. Her mind was racing and her heart was beating. This was so unlike him.

"Harm, you're scaring me. What—what happened?"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"What are you talking about? Tell you _what_?"

"I'm only going to do this once, Mac. Is there. Anything. That you need. To tell. Me."

He was practically spitting. Her brows were furrowed in fear and she felt as though she would cry.

"Harm, I don't understand what's going on! What would I have to tell you?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe about this?" He pulled something out of his coat pocket and held it out for Mac to see.

When he did, her heart sank.

"Where did you get that?"

She walked forward to take if from his hand, studying it over. It was a page torn from a calendar that read "Miss December". The photo was of a long-legged brunette in nothing else but a gray T-shirt that read "Navy." Her hair was teased and large, the make up on her eyes was dark, her lips glossy pink and she was wearing a pair of 5-inch navy heels.

"Oh my. Oh my." She stared at the photo in front of her, covering her mouth with her hand.

She sat down quickly on the couch, as if she would faint.

"Yeah. Oh my is right, Mac. Now would you care to explain why I had to walk in on a group of horny bastards ogling this picture? A picture I knew nothing about? A picture of _you_?" His eyes were large, brimming with anger.

Her hand quivered over her mouth and tears began to form in her eyes.

He moved to where she sat and jerked the photo from her hands. "Damnit, Mac. Answer me!" He yelled, throwing the photo to the ground.

She was crushed. His anger was shocking and she didn't know what to do.

"_Mac_!" He yelled again in an attempt to draw her out of the stupor.

"Harm, I don't understand."

"Well that's rich, Mac. There's a photo of my girlfriend, half-naked that I knew absolutely nothing about, and _she_ doesn't understand!"

His arms were practically flailing. The angrier he became, the less she knew how to respond.

"I don't—I don't understand how you got this."

She finally stood, walking hesitantly to where he stood.

"Harriet," she began, but he quickly interrupted.

"Harriet what, Mac? Harriet did this? She took this photo? What, Mac!"

"If you would let me finish." She stammered.

He nodded his head in disgust and walked to the other side of the room.

"Harriet asked me to—"

"Oh, so this is Harriet's fault? You thought it would be a good what, a good career move or something? To pose half-naked for some freak photographer? Is that what friends tell each other to do these days? Especially as they're just starting a relationship?"

He was making no sense, speaking from a place of confusion and pain.

She tried to mask the hurt in order to fully explain.

"Harm," she said, wiping a tear from her eye. "This is not what you think!"

"Oh really? Then tell me what it is, Mac. A picture of a unicorn? A field of daisies? Because what I _think_ it is, looks an awful lot like the woman I _thought_ I knew!" He spat.

His anger had taken full control and although he felt a twinge of remorse with each sarcastic jab, he couldn't stop himself. He was engulfed in fury and hurt.

"That's not fair." She whispered.

He shook his head once more.

"Fair." He scoffed. "You know Mac? You're right. It's _not_ fair. It's not fair for me to sit back and patiently wait for you, to see you—like this—to have fantasized about you and then walk in to a room where a bunch of sick teenagers are seeing it first! As if—" he paused, "as if they have just as much a right to you as I do!"

He had just given her a glimpse into his pain. This was more than a wounded ego. He was genuinely hurt which sickened her even more.

Tears were streaming down her face. His words were daggers. She had to explain.

"Harm, if you would just let me—" She went to where he stood and reached for his hand. He jerked it away as if her touch would set him on fire.

"You know what, Mac?" He was speaking softly now, completely dejected. "Don't. Just…don't."

He walked over to the door as if he were ready to leave.

"Harm, please! You have to hear me out! You can't just walk out like this!"

Her words gave him momentary pause for consideration, but he placed his hand on the handle of the door any way.

"Mac, I'm tired. It's been a long week. Maybe we should talk about this later."

Now she was mad.

"Oh no you don't!" She moved to stand between him and the door. "You don't just barge in here like this, spill your rage and then walk out! That's not how this works!"

She was desperate and it was evident in her voice.

He wanted to leave. She could see it on his face.

"Five minutes, Harm. Give me five minutes to _explain_!"

He was mulling it over. He wanted so badly for this to be a mistake, for it not to have been her body. But it was. How she could explain any of it away he didn't know.

"Harm. Please." She whispered.

He let out a long, deep breath and moved slowly to the couch, finding a seat at the far end.

Relieved that he had at least calmed down enough to sit, she willed the tears at bay and tried to gain a shred of composure. There would be no credibility at all to what she had to say if she were sobbing like a child.

She sat beside him, yet leaving plenty of space between.

She cleared her throat. "A couple of months ago, Harriet approached me about participating in a fundraiser for the local girl's club. They wanted to spotlight women in leadership that may have inspiring stories to tell."

She steadied her breathing. "I told her no. I told her repeatedly, if you'll remember, that I wanted no part in it. She said that it would probably just be a calendar and at the most, a speaking engagement too. Still, I told her that I wasn't interested. The details seemed fuzzy and while I would have loved to meet the girls, a calendar seemed kind of weird and self-pretentious."

He sat still, jaw clenched, wondering how in the world this could lead to her scantily clad in a T-shirt that after staring at it, he realized may have been his.

She took a long, cleansing breath. "And then, my diagnosis happened. I had just seen a leggy blonde in your apartment acting like she owned the place, had just been delivered the worst possible news in my entire life, and I was hurting. When a woman finds out that she may not be able to carry a child…for the man that she loves…"

The tension slowly left his body, and he looked at her from the corner of his eye at her last statement.

"…she feels like less than a woman." She swallowed hard, still trying not to cry.

"I was mad and I was hurt. So, I called Harriet and I told her I would do it. When I was on leave, I made arrangements with the photographer. We met, he took the photos for the girls club, and then I was done. Or so I thought."

She still had his attention, although it would have taken very little to cause him to run, she could tell.

"Harriet had gone with me at the last minute. We were laughing and having a really fun day. Harriet happened to be looking through his portfolio, and saw that he had done some edgy, fun poses of women in all sorts of outfits and uniforms. When Harriet asked, he said that he had done a photo shoot for a group of his sister's friends. They were moms who were trying to either spice up their marriages or just to boost their self esteem."

He could feel his eyes on her, but was still unable to make eye contact.

"When Phil, the photographer, mentioned that he had no other appointments that afternoon, Harriet asked if he would take some pictures of her, for Bud. She thought it would be a fun Christmas present, something just the two of them would share. I encouraged her to do it, because she seemed like she really wanted to. I stood back and I watched, helping Harriet find a hat and a few other props to make it kind of fun."

He seemed to exhale.

"I thought we were ready to go, but Harriet dared me to do something too. I really wasn't sure, Harm. You have to believe me and if you don't, you can ask her. She had to practically twist my arm, because I wasn't sure how I felt, but more importantly, I wasn't sure how _you_ would feel. After much persuasion, Harriet came up with the idea of the T-shirt. She had seen it in the back of my car, and volunteered to go get it."

She wanted to inch closer to him, or to take his hand in hers, but she decided she'd better not.

"We played around with my hair, she messed with my make up, and we felt like we were 10-years-old all over again. It was _fun_, Harm. Or at least it was meant to be."

She continued, hoping that her words were sinking in.

"Phil showed us the digital proofs and let us choose a pose to have printed. He hoped to have them to us by Christmas, but couldn't guarantee. Harriet's arrived in plenty of time. Mine, as you know, did not." She took another deep breath. "That picture, that you brought me…it was supposed to be for you. And you only. How it wound up in the hands of anyone else I don't know but I can assure that I will find out."

This time, she did reach for his hand. He did not pull away. They sat in silence for several seconds before she dared to speak again.

"Harm that is the God's honest truth. Harriet will tell you the same thing."

Silence.

"Please, Harm. Say something. Tell me that you believe me."

He sat unresponsive for several minutes, clearly processing all that she had said.

Finally, he spoke. "This, uh, Phil. He's a reputable photographer?"

"So I thought. We were there for a charity project, remember, so there weren't exactly Playboy bunnies running around."

"And he was, um…"

She could read his mind. The visual of a slimy, perverted man behind the camera would make anyone uneasy.

She dared to crack a slight smile. "As gay as the day is long."

She couldn't help her smile from spreading. "In fact, his partner helped with our hair."

It was as if Harm turned from a piece of concrete to a puddle of mud. He let out a long, audible sigh.

Still needing to tread lightly, she wanted to put his mind at ease.

"I can assure you that Phil and I will have a conversation first thing in the morning, and I will demand an explanation. I'm so, so sorry that this happened, Harm. If I had any idea that this photo would have ended up in the wrong hands, you have to know I would have never, ever compromised my integrity or put you through this."

She squeezed his hand, wanting to move closer, but letting him give the signal.

He leaned his head back on the couch and closed his eyes.

"You have no idea, Mac."

He was clearly re-living the horror of the discovery in his mind.

"I'm sorry. That had to have been awful."

He opened his eyes and ever so slowly turned to look at her.

"None of them knew you were my girlfriend, obviously. And I have to say, there was a tiny amount of pride, but the guys on these ships, Mac."

"I know." She looked down. "I'm disgusted by it too. Actually, humiliated would be the better word."

For the first time all evening, Harm stopped to see things from her perspective. He sat up and pulled her toward him. She had never been more relieved to be in his arms. She leaned against him closing her eyes and taking him all in.

"I'm sorry, Mac. For the things that I said. I was out of line and an idiot."

"You were hurt. I understand."

"That doesn't make it okay. I said some really hurtful things and I'm sorry. I just couldn't figure out how there could be a rational explanation."

"I can see why you would think that. I'm sorry for putting you through this. I should have never listened to Harriet."

He pulled her closer, squeezing her tightly.

"It was a good idea that went wrong some how. We'll figure that out tomorrow. But for now…"

He moved so that he could face her.

"How 'bout we start this evening over with a proper hello?"

She smiled, leaning in for a long overdue kiss.

"I'd like that very much."


	11. Chapter 11

Six months later

He held her in his arms, swaying slowly as the music played.

"Are you happy?" he whispered in her ear.

She smiled, looking over his shoulder at the adoring guests that looked on.

She felt his hands on her bare back and wanted to melt right there.

"You have no idea." She whispered in to his ear.

They separated just enough to look into each other's eyes.

"You've made me the happiest man in the world, Sarah Mackenzie."

She smiled, trying to absorb the reality of the moment.

"I hope that never changes."

He twirled her around, slowly changing the view but not registering anyone's face but hers.

He kissed her on top of her forehead. She closed her eyes and drew her hands up to his shoulders.

"It can't get any better than tonight."

A devilish grin spread across his face.

"Except for maybe tomorrow night, and the night after that, and then there's the morning…"

She arched her eyebrow, knowing exactly what he meant.

"Don't tell me, Sailor. You're ready to leave already?"

"Mac if it was up to me, we would have blown this joint an hour ago."

She felt the exact same way.

"Then what do you say we get outta here?" her face grew serious and the look in her eyes said it all.

"I thought you'd never ask," he whispered heavily into her ear.

The song came to an end and the guests politely clapped in approval.

Harm borrowed the microphone from the DJ, never allowing Mac's hand to leave his.

"Mac and I wanted to thank you for being here this evening." He smiled.

"It's been a perfect day and we thank all of you for your support these last few months."

He looked directly at the Admiral. They owed him a great deal for making their careers suffer as little as possible once the relationship came to light.

"My bride and I have a plane to catch in the morning, so if it's all the same to you…" he cleared his throat and the guests began to laugh. No one was fooled.

Mac leaned against his shoulder, slightly embarrassed.

"Stay. Eat, drink and enjoy. And thank you all again." The grin that covered his face was enormous.

He handed the mic back to the DJ and led her across the room to say goodbye to their friends. Mac leaned down to rub noses with Chloe, who smiled as if to say, "I told you so."

They walked hurriedly down the corridor and out to the waiting limo. The driver held the door open and they couldn't wait to pile in, giving no further thought to etiquette or appearance.

"Finally," he removed his tie and threw it across the seat before taking her mouth in his.

As the limo began to move, Mac simultaneously kicked off her shoes and began working to un-do the buttons on Harm's shirt.

Both moaned in anticipation, fueling their kiss with increasing desire. She shoved the jacket down from his shoulders and pulled his shirt from his waist.

His hands worked deliberately to feel every inch of exposed skin on her back. The ride would be short to the hotel, but not short enough.

Her veil became stuck in his cufflink, bringing them both to a momentary halt.

She laughed as he freed his wrist from her veil. "I guess we'd better pace ourselves."

Just then the limo came to a stop. They both smiled and leaned forward to gather their scattered belongings. When the driver opened the door, Harm stepped out and tried to appear composed. He reached to help Mac to her feet, smiled at the driver and handed him a tip. The driver nodded, and the couple made their way into the hotel lobby.

"Harm, this is beautiful." She was too busy taking in the view of the hotel to notice the guests that were admiring her beauty.

She was a stunning bride. The gown was champagne in color with a beaded bodice, off the shoulder neck line and entirely open back. Harm felt proud to have her on his arm as he had many times before.

As they made their way to the elevator, he was relieved that they did not have to share the ride.

He pressed the button as the number 22 lit up, then turned to face his bride. He pinned her gently against the mirrored wall and began to kiss her lightly along the jaw line.

"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"

She smiled, catching a glimpse of his backside in the mirror.

"Have I ever told you how lucky I am?" She responded, working with the buckle on his belt.

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Once again they tried to gain some level of composure before making their way down the hall, caring less and less as they reached their destination.

Harm slid the card into the slot, waited for the click and opened the door. Mac peeked in and was amazed. It was a beautiful, large suite with windows overlooking the entire DC area it seemed. There was a living area, a kitchenette and a bathroom bigger than her office.

The bed was large and covered in white, plump pillows and a comforter that looked like a cloud. A tray of chocolate covered strawberries sat on the bedside table.

She made her way inside, looking around the room like a princess in a castle. "Harm, this is the most amazing room I've ever seen!"

"I hoped you'd like it." He tossed the room key on the dresser and went to stand behind her as she looked out the large wall of windows.

He snaked his arms around her waist and she covered his hands with her own.

"This feels like a dream."

He could see their reflection in the glass. He wanted to capture the look on her face and remember it forever. This woman deserved nothing but happiness and he planned to make it his life's mission.

"It's not a dream."

"Harm, I don't even know what to say."

She turned to face him. "I feel like I could burst."

"I know the feeling." He smiled.

"I don't ever want to disappoint you." She said, eyes filled with emotion.

"As long as you're by my side, Mac, I could never be disappointed."

She smiled. "You've brought me so far." There was a pause as she became choked with emotion. "I don't know where I would be without you. And I hope I never have to find out."

He leaned down to plant a soft, assuring kiss on her once glossed lips.

"You won't. I promise." He muttered between kisses.

"Don't make a promise you can't keep." She smiled, eager for the night to begin.

"Haven't yet." He responded with a smile of his own. "Now, about this dress…"

* * *

A/N: I feel I owe an apology. I hate to let a story linger but have had major writer's block. This is not the last chapter. I know there are some loose ends to tie up and I hope to do that with less frustration very soon. I'm sorry if this was too rushed. I had them all over the map and it just wasn't working. :/


	12. Chapter 12

Two days later, Antigua

She awakened to a cool breeze coming through the sliding glass doors and the bamboo ceiling fan circling silently above. A smile spread across her face, realizing where she was.

Just as she began to move to face him, his grip around her tightened. His eyes were closed, but he was aware.

"Don't go anywhere." He mumbled through the pillow that blocked his complete view.

She wiggled enough to turn in his arms to face him.

"I wasn't going anywhere, sleepy." She leaned forward and placed a single kiss on the tip of his nose."

She lifted her hand and began to lightly drag her fingers up and down the length of his arm, occasionally stopping to trace the outline of his jaw and ear before traveling back down to his hand.

"You know you're going to be the death of me." He moaned.

She grinned.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Sailor."

He scooted closer to nestle his face between the crook of her shoulder and neck, still gripping her tightly around the waist.

"Let's just say that in all the years I fantasized about this happening; well, I shouldn't have been surprised."

"Surprised by what? And you fantasized about us?"

"Surprised by the fact that you're an overachiever, shall we say, in all areas of life. Not that I'm complaining. And yeah, Mac. Only every day."

She was flattered and amused.

"Well you certainly didn't show it. In fact, you've been quite restrained."

"Ha, well, it may have looked that way on the outside,"

"It did." She interrupted, thinking back to the "Not yet" on the ferry.

He read her mind. He opened his eyes and moved to position himself properly on the pillow so that he could look her in the eyes.

He know loosened his grip to take her hand in his, clasping his fingers around hers.

"I was scared, Mac."

"Of?"

"Of letting you down. Of letting myself down. A part of me always knew we'd be together. But taking that leap wasn't something I felt I could just do without thinking."

"So you wanted to think it through?"

"Absolutely. Our friendship meant everything to me. To risk losing that weighed very heavily on my mind. And in case you hadn't noticed, I don't have a great track record when it comes to relationships."

"I've let _you_ down." She countered. "And probably will again."

"Mac, how many times do we have to go over this? The photo fiasco was not your fault. The company that printed them is now closed and I have one very special photo of my favorite Marine in an exquisite Navy t-shirt." He leaned forward to kiss her between the corner of her mouth and her cheek.

"Ha, I wouldn't call it exquisite, and unfortunately you weren't the only one to end up with the photo, Harm. Besides, I wasn't just talking about that. I've let you down so many other times. When I was drunk, when I ran off after my procedure…"

Her tone grew serious. She stared at their hands, still intertwined.

"Mac, we're not going to keep score. We've come a long way together and we'll only keep getting better. We don't have to be afraid any more, of risks or consequences. We have each other now. For good. We're a team."

He let go of her hand to place his hand on her arm. "I mean that, Mackenzie."

Suddenly she began to giggle.

"How was that funny?" He asked, confused.

"It's not, it's just I've noticed that in certain, shall we say, more intense moments, you call me Sarah. In every day conversation or when you're whining—"

"I don't whine." He interrupted.

"…you call me Mac. And then there's the occasional moment like just now, when you call me Mackenzie."

"What would you prefer that I call you, Mrs. Rabb?" He was growing playful, and reached for the blanket to pull over them as he covered her body with his.

She laughed again, "I don't know. You don't seem to need my help, Flyboy."

"Well, Mrs. Rabb would be my favorite, although it's a little too formal for situations like..this." He began yet another assault of kisses down her neck to her shoulder and beyond."

She smiled, wrapping her arms around his bare back, pulling him even closer.

"Call me anything you'd like." Her voice grew deep as she leaned her head back in pleasure at the sensation of his mouth on her skin.

He stopped for a moment and looked her in the eye. "There's one that you forgot. And it's my favorite."

She wore a puzzled look on her face.

"_Mine_." He whispered, before passionately descending upon her again, this time without interruption.


End file.
